New ways to bring up your baby

It’s an age-old issue: discipline. Today’s generation of parents may have been brought up under the parenting adage of ” Spare the rod and spoil the child”, yet, or perhaps because of it, they wrangle with the task of sparing the rod and still on spoiling the child.

Do children require a set of rules to stick to? Is there a method by which a child learns to understand so that he knows what lines not to cross or where and when to stop? How does one teach seld-control to a tantrum showing child? Why doesn’t the form of discipline one uses on an eight-year-old work with three years old too?

Yes, every parent will be faced with multiple questions. Here are different approaches that you can opt to change your ways to bring up your child.

DISCIPLINE  WITH LOVE & CAUTION

  • Be a role model: Show your child how important that virtue is to you by demonstrating it in your behavior
  • Connect before you direct: Become a child, understand him, hold him lovingly and make eye contact before you give instructions
  • Use Positive Statements: “Instead of eating chocolate, why don’t you have some raisins!” or ” It will make Mumma happy if you can pick all the toys”
  • Ask your child for help: Children cant be great solution finders if we let them try. They are not self-conscious and not socially bothered. Give them a chance to think and they will help with the easiest and more effective solution. An important part is they feel involved.

Show your child how important that virtue is to you by demostrating in your own behaviour. Become a child , understand him, hold him lovingly and make a eye-contact before you give instructions.

DISCIPLINE  IS BEHAVIOUR MANAGEMENT

The problem is that as adults we follow a strict policy with children that says,’Do as we say, and not as we do and we forget that they learn by imitation!”

Patience is another myth of parenting, in fact, there should not be such thing as patience when it comes to children. Patience implies that you are ‘bearing with’ someone. Instead of basing your discipline on patience, base it on understanding, because in patience you will control the child instead of guiding the child.

It is important for parents to show respect for the child and watch for the impeding signs of tantrums and misbehavior. Reacting to the child’s misbehavior with your own can be the biggest disaster.

Adults should remember that children do not misbehave; it’s we who misinterpret their behaviors. There are four zones that you should look out for in a child’s behavior:

  • Safe Zone: When the child feels wanted, secure, loved; when his needs are met, he functions ina safe zone and such children are happy, well-adjusted, and well-behaved.
  • Learning Zone: When the child experiences a safe zone, he is able to learn, explore, be creative, make decisions, choose, and focus. This is the learning zone where he becomes smarter, independent, and learns more.
  • Anxiety Zone: Children who do not feel safe, secure, wanted, and reassured, are in the anxiety zone. Anxiety leads to irritation, frustration, and anger. It is this zone they start sending the signals and signs about their anxiety.
  • Stress Zone: When you unable to read those signs and give them the required reassurance, help, or guidance, they move into the stress zone, where all hell breaks loose.

It takes a lot of effort, learning, unlearning, guidance, love, and time to bring a child from the stress zone to the safe zone. It is ideal to keep them in the safe and leaning zone and never let them reach the anxiety zone.

DISCIPLINE MEANS KEEPING CALM

One of the biggest reasons why kids misbehave is they simply haven’t learned an alternative approach to expressing their feelings whereas adults have a lot of options like debating it out, voting, weighing the pros and cons. Hence before you lose your control because your child misbehaved, figure out what was causing that behavior.The stronger your relationship with your the child, the stronger your discipline will hold.

In all this world there is nothing so beautiful as a happy child.

~ L. Frank Baum

And finally, the mantra of a well-behaved child is ‘Healthy children are the happiest children’. Good sleeping habits, a balanced diet, and their share of physical activity are the three important keys to a happy child.

 

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